This weekend a great tragedy has taken place. Abdullah Ismail was taken to a hospital and died of
complications from inhaling a concentrated dose of intolerance from a burning American flag during a
peaceful rally in Pakistan demanding respect and tolerance for Islam.
Their peaceful and tolerant demand of publicly hanging everyone involved in the production and release of
the movie "Innocence of Muslims" is to be heard on the Senate floor tomorrow at noon but according to
Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, the Republicans plan to "filibuster the shit out of that"
because "rabble rabble rabble Obama rabble rabble rabble."
President Obama responded swiftly and strongly by saying "this type of partisan shenanigans has no place in
foreign policy" and has already sent flowers and a hand written apology to Mr. Ismail's family. He has vowed
that if re-elected he will immediately push for the First Amendment of the United States Constitution to be
rewritten to simply say "We're sorry."
Governor Romney's camp was quick to point out that "We are VERY sorry and we will make sure all of our
flags are made at a much, much cheaper factory in China, but we'll charge double for them so it's cool."
If you're nervous about the new dangers presented by the civil unrest around the world, you can now feel
safe in New York City as Mayor Bloomberg has outlawed the flying of the American flag anywhere within
city limits for "The health and safety of any potential terrorists."