Tuesday, February 14, 2012

It's Valentine's Day... so what?

It's February 14th once again and everyone wants me to feel badly for not getting anything for my wife.
Deborrah here (http://survivingdating.com/valentines-day-and-selfish-ass-men) is a "dating expert" whose job is to give women dating advice. No really, someone pays her to spout this shit. Oh, and she's "Black." (I'm not sure why she insists on always capitalizing the word black. Apparently her daddy issues stem from the fact that he never taught her the rules of capitalization.)

Deb here says that Valentine's Day is a day where a man is supposed to show his woman that he loves her. She never mentions why it must be on this particular day of all the days, nor why it is so sacred amongst the womenfolk of the world, only that by kindergarten all women love this day and expect shit from men. Never does she catch on to the irony of calling men selfish in this instance.

Well babe, let me try to help you out a bit. Valentine's Day started a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far... er, Rome. It started in Rome. It was a Catholic feast day set aside to celebrate dudes named Valentine who died in the name of Catholicism. It was placed on Feb 14th to take over Lupercalia from the dirty Pagans who just never knew what was good for them. However, in 1969 even the Pope figured it was stupid and decided to remove it from Roman calendar. In the last 200-300 years it has slowly turned in to a day where people would give cards, and then gifts, to people they love. Why? So companies who make shit can sell their shit! (You've heard of the Industrial Revolution right?)

So should I get my wife flowers, or was it chocolate eggs? I sometimes mix up my Pagan holidays that were taken over by Christianity and then converted by companies like Hallmark to have no resemblance whatsoever to the original meaning of the holiday. What was this one about again? Oh ya, to "show my love." If we are in a happy, functioning relationship, shouldn't we show our love to each other every day? And if we must have one day out of the year to make extra special, why can't we choose it on our own? Why does it matter to you or anyone else when and how we celebrate our love? And when did this become a day where a man has to buy shit for "his woman"? When is the day that a woman buys shit for "her man" and shows him her special love? What if, and we're going to get crazy here, the couple consists of two same sex partners? Who buys who what?

I'm sorry (not really) that you're a sad, lonely woman who only finds solace in converting others to her angry feminist viewpoints. Not everyone else is a horrible person like you. Many women are actually great people who are able to have functional relationships with other people without their insecurities bogging them down and destroying the relationship. Many men find these women and are able to have wonderful relationships with them without having to adhere to your, or anyone elses' social constructs.

So while you are alone this Valentine's Day watching a Tyler Perry marathon on TBS stuffing your no doubt fat face full of fried chicken (that's not racist, it's alliteration), I'll be hanging out with my wife tonight, not because it's Valentine's Day, but because it's a Tuesday and we enjoy each other's company.