Monday, April 2, 2012

Reason #8,287 Why New York City Sucks

"New York City is the greatest city on Earth!" - Tons of douches from NYC.
"Um, no?" - Me.

The latest evidence to prove my point is this: The NYC Department of Education wants to lobotomize its children to the point of fucking absolute absurdity. Honestly, you may as well abort all children born in NYC to save them from potentially being offended at some point in their lives.

Political correctness is a fucking cancer that is killing America. The above list of suggest words to be removed from standardizes tests honestly makes me want to grab a baby and fucking punt it.

I understand that a test question shouldn't say "How many niggers does it take to rape your mother?" That is offensive even if your mother wasn't raped by black men. However, "How many horns does a triceratops have?" is not offensive even if your particular cult thinks that a magical genie sneezed out the universe a few thousand years ago and hid fake bones in the ground to mess with us. You know why? Because not agreeing  with your beliefs is NOT FUCKING OFFESIVE!

Oh your mommy and daddy got divorced? Guess what, regardless of whether or not it's in a test question your mom still blew that trucker. Nothing can change that now. Sack the fuck up Junior. And birthdays! What in the holy shit, are you kidding me? Because Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate them? Mother fucker I don't celebrate them either but I know what the fuck one is.

Because further delving in to this will cause my brain to hemorrhage, I will instead just reveal law number two that I will enact once I am Emperor of Earth:

If you are offended by something that someone says and you whine about it, you will receive one free kick to the face.

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