Feeding Tube "Diet"...

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/diet-brides-feeding-tubes-rapidly-shed-pounds/story?id=16146271#.T4wp4KvOxrW


Holy-fucking-goat-fuck.

Is this really where we are as a society? REALLY? Sigh... the first paragraph:

Brides-to-be looking to shed that final 10, 15 or 20 pounds in order to fit into their dream wedding gown have taken a controversial approach to crash dieting that involves inserting a feeding tube into their noses for up to 10 days for a quick fix to rapid weight loss.

First off, why the fuck are you buying a "dream wedding gown" that doesn't fucking fit? Are you retarded? My wife gets pissed off at me when I buy a pair of jeans without trying them on first yet you go out and purposefully purchase a wedding dress that doesn't fit and then stress out over it? What-the-fuck over? I understand that as a society we put immense pressure on women to look good and be thin and blah blah blah, but nowhere on Earth has any man ever said, "I love you, I want to marry you, but try to be ten pounds lighter on our wedding day. I want our kids to be able to look back and see that their daddy wasn't always a chubby-chaser." So this idiocy can not in any way be blamed on the male sex.

I also understand that women hold the wedding day to a much, much, much higher level of significance than men do, however, I don't understand how lying to yourself makes you feel better. That's all this is, lying to yourself. I put the ring on your finger, I know how much you weigh and what you look like, so does your maid of honor and your parents and everybody else at the wedding. You purging ten pounds off your body for a short time to be able to take pictures is just the epitome of ridiculousness. 97.8547% of all males on Earth prefer a woman who is comfortable with herself and confident. No real man wants a woman so self conscious that she has to go through elaborate mechanisms just to trick her future-self that her past-self wasn't really a lazy pile. And I'm just talking about regular old fashioned gimmick diets that just dehydrate you for a short time. This particular "diet" is a whole new level of crazy.

How lazy must you be, that you would pay $1,500 dollars to have bad breath, constipation and oh yeah, a feeding tube shoved up your nose for 10 days, just to lose ten or twenty pounds in the short term?

But SGT Awesome, it's not short term. Once I lose the weight, I'll totally keep it off for good. It's just the initial loss that is tough to do! - says every lazy person ever who wants to argue the above point with me.

Uh, no assclown, if you don't change your lifestyle, your life won't change you jackass. If you want to be fit/in shape/not a fat ass, you have to work at it. If you continue to be the typical lazy, fat-ass American, it doesn't matter how long you starve yourself, once you stop and go back to your routine of stuffing your face and laying around, you will blow back up into the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Bride.

But SGT Awesome, I do work out/eat right and I just can't get this ten pounds off! - says people who just like to argue.

Yes, that is correct, because you aren't changing anything! Why would you expect to see change, if you don't change? Without cause, there is no effect!

It really isn't that tough. There are basically two simple rules to follow and you can be whatever weight you want to be.

#1: Stop stuffing your big fat face with a ton of shitty food. (In layman terms: Eat a healthy, balanced diet and watch your portions!)

#2: Get off your fat, lazy ass! (In layman terms: Get off your fat, lazy ass and fucking exercise!)

Boom, done. Follow those two basic rules and you'll add five years to your life guaranteed or your money back! I'll even throw in a bonus rule:

#3. If you ever feel like paying $1,500 dollars to lose 10lbs in 10 days, send me a check for $750 dollars and I'll punch you in the face.

TED Video, Why Do We Vote On Tuesdays?

What are the odds of this bill passing? Do politicians want more people to vote? Would this help one party over the other? I wonder. I have no overwhelming rage at this particular [insert word here... archaicism?*], but am curious for thoughts. Do you think one side more so than the other fights to keep it this way or will both sides unanimously shoot this down for fear that it may help the other side more?

My purely uneducated guess would be that it will stay on a Tuesday for no good reason whatsoever. We in America are nothing if not suckers for meaningless tradition!









*I am high** on muscle relaxers right now and it's semi-difficult to form a thought, let alone type it. So eat it.

**I injured my back, I am not a drug addict.***

***Beer totally isn't a drug.****

****SHUT IT!


EDIT: Anachronism would've won you a cookie.

North Dakota Uses UAV To Make Arrest (Limerick Tuesday)

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2012/04/09/first-man-arrested-with-drone-evidence-vows-to-fight-case?google_editors_picks=true

So crazy guy A, let's call him Bob, decides that possession literally is 9/10ths of the law and the other 1/10th of the law is having a rifle. Seems legit right? Well some cows wandered on to Bob's property and when the owners asked for them back, he checked his math and said no. The cops were called and when they showed up Bob once again checked his math and with two of his family members (aren't they are always family members?) chased away the police with their 1/10th of the law. (That would be the rifles for the math impaired.)

The police then got a search warrant, had Homeland Security send up a drone to take a look-see at the ranch, and then had SWAT raid the ranch to arrest the crazy fuckers alleged, um, crazy fuckers.

Bob is now crying that a drone was used and claiming it is illegal and the libtard brigade is going to be all over this.

Bob, let me point you towards the bold font just above here. See that last word? Check and mate fuckface.

That said, I swear to FSM that if this guy doesn't do hard time, I'm going to start building the clock tower. Common sense has long since left the legal realm in this country and I wouldn't be surprised if this doucheknuckle walks.

Annnnnd I just recalled that it is Tuesday. My apologies.

This crazy guy tried to steal a cow,
For that I raise my eyebrow,
We then used a drone,
To look at his home,
An airstrike I would've allowed.

Future Lifetime Movie Of The Week?

This is possibly the greatest story you've never heard. It has all the elements of a classic.

Drama between best friends
Sexual tension
Awkward brother-sister relationship
A monkey wrench
A champion gravy wrestler protagonist

I can't wait for Lifetime to green-light this movie!

So Lady A (champion gravy wrestler [yes, I assume there is a belt]) walks in to her own living room to discover Lady B (Lady A's best friend) having sex with Guy 1 (apparently a mutual friend of Lady A and B). Lady A verbally objects to this sexual act being performed on her couch. Guy 1 then grabs Lady A by the throat and throws her in to a doorway. Guy 2 (Lady B's brother) now appears (from who knows where) and starts punching Lady A in the face. Whilst this is happening Lady B grabs a monkey wrench which was simply laying about and hits Lady A in the face with it. Then Lady B and Guys 1 and 2 all leave, not staying around long enough to even to grab Lady B's purse, phone, shoes or pants.

The laundry-working single mother of multiple children, (Lady B) has promised through her attorney to "reduce her drinking" I guess so she doesn't again smash her future best friends' face in with a blunt object.

Honestly though, the absolute BEST part of this story is the last couple sentences:

In the annual wrestling championships at the Rose ‘n’ Bowl pub in Stacksteads, Bisto provided 440 gallons of gravy past its best before date for the contest, which raises money for the East Lancashire Hospice.Local fire crews are called in to hose down the participants after their bouts in the wrestling ring. Wrestlers travel from all over the UK to compete.

Well, I have no idea why the brother was hanging around this house while his sister was getting the business in the middle of the other room, but at least I now know that the donated gravy that English people wrestle in is expired Bisto brand gravy. Hoozah!

Read the story here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2126006/Gravy-wrestling-model-hit-face-monkey-wrench-finding-friend-having-sex-sofa.html

Islam Is... Not Savage!

I often get criticized for referring to the followers of Islam as savages.
I present to you exhibit ZZ: http://www.emirates247.com/crime/region/saudi-steps-up-war-on-sorcery-2012-03-27-1.450545

Saudi Arabia, one of our best "allies" in the Muslim world is stepping up it's war on terror sorcery. Yes, I said sorcery.

While America is wasting its time and money fighting Saudi-funded terrorism extremists, our "allies" are fighting the good fight and making sure people like Harry Potter and women are murdered shown their proper due.

So I guess ya, you are right, they aren't savages. They are actually heroes and loyal "allies" in the real fight against Magic The Gathering Gandalf witchcraft.

Hoozah Islam, hoozah. You are the shining light that guides us all towards world peace via violent subjugation and genocide.


[Shout out to @Ranger_up for bringing this important subject to my attention]

Gregg Williams Audio

WOW. It's one thing to read about it, it's another to hear it directly coming out of Gregg Williams' mouth. I understand football is a very physical game, but intentional injury is beyond disgusting. This makes me understand the punishments Goodell handed out much better.

Teenage Me Is Crying Tuesday Limerick

There once was a boy in Kentucky,
Who was extremely god damn lucky,
He's not Derek Jeter,
Yet an NFL cheerleader,
He allegedly made with the "fucky."



http://abcnews.go.com/US/kentucky-teacher-ben-gals-cheerleader-indicted-alleged-affair/story?id=16039069#.T3ocDqvOxrU

(Seriously. Can I go back to high school???)

Reason #8,287 Why New York City Sucks

"New York City is the greatest city on Earth!" - Tons of douches from NYC.
"Um, no?" - Me.

The latest evidence to prove my point is this: The NYC Department of Education wants to lobotomize its children to the point of fucking absolute absurdity. Honestly, you may as well abort all children born in NYC to save them from potentially being offended at some point in their lives.

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/26/war-on-words-nyc-dept-of-education-wants-50-forbidden-words-removed-from-standardized-tests/

Political correctness is a fucking cancer that is killing America. The above list of suggest words to be removed from standardizes tests honestly makes me want to grab a baby and fucking punt it.

I understand that a test question shouldn't say "How many niggers does it take to rape your mother?" That is offensive even if your mother wasn't raped by black men. However, "How many horns does a triceratops have?" is not offensive even if your particular cult thinks that a magical genie sneezed out the universe a few thousand years ago and hid fake bones in the ground to mess with us. You know why? Because not agreeing  with your beliefs is NOT FUCKING OFFESIVE!

Oh your mommy and daddy got divorced? Guess what, regardless of whether or not it's in a test question your mom still blew that trucker. Nothing can change that now. Sack the fuck up Junior. And birthdays! What in the holy shit, are you kidding me? Because Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate them? Mother fucker I don't celebrate them either but I know what the fuck one is.

Because further delving in to this will cause my brain to hemorrhage, I will instead just reveal law number two that I will enact once I am Emperor of Earth:

If you are offended by something that someone says and you whine about it, you will receive one free kick to the face.

FDA Gets Denied... By the FDA?

http://newsandinsight.thomsonreuters.com/Legal/News/2012/03_-_March/Federal_judge_bars_import_of_drug_used_in_death_penalty/

Once again, my mind is fucking blown.

Seriously, I just can't wrap my head around the absolute crapshack of utter fucktitude that this is.

The FDA, whose job it is to decide what food and drugs are legal in America, said it was cool to import sodium thiopental for use to sedate death row inmates right before we kill them. A man who raped and murdered a 13 year old lawyered up and decided to sue the FDA.

A Federal judge has decided that the child rapist and his peers were right. He told the FDA that they could not allow the import of this drug in to the United States because...

... the FDA hasn't approved it for use in America!!!

He said:

"The FDA appears to be simply wrapping itself in the flag of law enforcement discretion to justify its authority and masquerade an otherwise seemingly callous indifference to the health consequences of those imminently facing the executioner's needle. How utterly disappointing!" Leon wrote in his 23-page opinion.

Ok dickface, let's break down just this one small paragraph of what I am sure is a 23-page masterpiece of assfuckery.

Firstly, in what fucking world does the Food and Drug Administration need Law Enforcement's magical discretion-flag to make decisions on Food and motherfucking Drugs? That is their entire reason for being you buffoon! I mean, for Fraggle-Rock-sakes, you list their disapproval as as your reasoning that they shouldn't be doing it! That means you agree with their authority on the subject, jackass!

Secondly, I can barely read the next part of the sentence without trying to claw out my eyes. "Heath consequences of those imminently facing the executioner's needle." Really? Um, it's called death, that's kind of the trump of all health consequences. Let me rephrase that for you: "Falling off the Empire State Building would suck if you landed feet first. Can you imagine the pain of breaking your legs like that?"

In closing Mr. Leon:

I Can't Wait for California to Fall in the Ocean

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/03/22/police-to-ignore-california-law-requiring-authorities-to-impound-vehicles/

Let's see... The LA Police Chief is telling LA cops to stop enforcing California state law because it could create potential additional burdens to federal law breakers.

Ummmmmmm...

Amazing Full Face Transplant

Not since John Travolta took Nicholas Cage's face to try and steal the Constitution of the United States so he could escape the murder plane that he was sent to after using his elite Ranger-ninja skills to kill a dude who looked at Olivia Newton-John wrong, have we seen such an amazing and extensive face transplant done on a human being.

http://www.pasadenastarnews.com/science/ci_20273243/after-15-years-recluse-man-gets-most-extensive

The above gentleman, who is not John Travolta (as far as you and I know), suffered from a rare medical condition called Carboflorohopo Sourofaciatis (CFHS), or in layman terms 'bitter beer face'. Since this occured some time before Keystone beer began it's extensive Public Service Announcement campaign to raise awareness of CFHS in America, the funds were not in place for him to get a new face at the time.

Jump forward to 2012 and Keystone had finally sold enough beer to be able to hire a drunken Russian expat to do the surgery. Luckily for him (was it luck?), the Church of Scientology (I assume) jumped to the rescue and paid for Americans to do the surgery.

What you see above is the before-before, the before, and the after pictures and while it might not be as good as the aforementioned Cage-face switch, considering the underlying condition in this case, I'd say it's pretty damn amazing what these people were able to pull off.

Drink responsibly my friends.

Scarlett Johansson and the Great Injustice

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2120997/Scarlett-Johansson-nude-pics-Hacker-pleads-guilty-faces-60-years-jail-2-2m-fine.html

According to the above article, the man who hacked in to Scarlett Johansson's email and shared her nude pictures with the world is NOT getting the Medal of Honor. In fact, he could face up to SIXTY YEARS IN JAIL!!!!!!!

SIXTY YEARS!!!

This man should be immortalized with a 60 foot bronze statue of his head on Ryan Reynold's body. After humanity has destroyed itself, alien species should be able to come to Earth millenia from now and know of the service this man has done for us all.

I urge you all to write your congress representatives about this important matter!

Or share this a lot. That worked for that weird Kony2012 guy I guess.

The point is save... I dunno, the guy in the article whose name I already forgot.

Pull Out of Citibank Now!!!

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/03/27/awol-soldier-steals-id-one-worlds-richest-men/

If you have an account at Citibank, I suggest you look elsewhere for a place to hold on to your hard earned money. Some AWOL jackass from the Army managed to get access to Paul Allen's (yes, that Paul Allen) bank account at Citibank (well, one of them).

Paul. Allen.

Not some regular joe like you or I that has a few grand in our account. A guy who Forbes estimates is worth 14+ billion! Also, this wasn't some hacker collective pulling off a huge swindle. It was literally a lone jackass who apparently made a couple phone calls and boom, was a billionaire.

What does he do first with his new found riches? Well he paid 700 dollars to one of his loans of course, because as we all know the first rule of stealing something is to immediately link it to yourself in an incredibly damning way.

I wish that was the most ridiculous thing with this story. Alas:

Surveillance footage also captured him attempting purchases at a video game store and a dollar store, authorities alleged.

He stole access to likely millions of dollars and he tries to buy VIDEO GAMES!

"Fuck yeah I can finally afford that 60 dollar video game and the dollar candy from the dollar store!" said the idiot right before Paul Allen's private army robot ninja assassins caught him.

[Note: Apparently Mr. Allen does not in fact have a private army of robot ninja assassins. I'm not sure what the hell the point of being a billionaire is without one.]

Hunger Games Limerick

So someone named "Rue" is black,
Apparently this is way off track,
It says in the book,
Her skin: dark brown it does look,
So wait... what in the fricking frack?

Saints, Sanctions and Snitches, Oh My!

My awesome alliteration aside, unless you are currently living under a rock or are... well no, there is really no other excuse to not be aware of the most severe sanctions ever handed down by the NFL Commissioner. For the three of you who are unaware; the New Orleans Saints have been found guilty of running a "bounty program" for the last few years in which players would get paid extra money for injuring certain players on the opposing team. This being 100% counter to the goals of the NFL to promote player safety has caused Mr. Roger Goodell to, in layman's terms, "lay the dick down" on everyone involved.

While this will be dissected endlessly for literally years to come, there is one under appreciated aspect of the situation that really rubs my rump the wrong ray way. That would be the witch hunt for the alleged "snitch" [believed to be ex-Saints TE Jeremy Shockey].

First and foremost, this freaking investigation started in 2009, you know, when the Saints were very obviously gunning for people (Warner, Favre). So one individual in not responsible for this coming down.

Second, and infinitely more important than the first, a "snitch" by definition, can't be a snitch until someone else steps on their own dick. This mentality that you should stand by and watch people do immoral to illegal activities and not say anything is mind blowing. Do we as a society truly value tacit acceptance of illegality over someone giving a voice to integrity?

The "snitch" did nothing wrong, he was simply honest about others' indiscretions. These are values that should be held up and shown to children as examples how to act! Not spoken about with disdain and disgust in your voice (Talking to you Sapp!).

Let's say a woman is being mugged in an alley. Do you value the individuals who simply walk by and continue on their day, or the person who intervenes in the altercation? The answer is the intervener. He would be lauded as hero on the news for doing "the right thing." Yet for some reason, when it comes to "snitching" our views change. We no longer value doing the right thing. When did this happen? It certainly wasn't recently as I can recall as a child the term "tattletale" being negative even then.

I guess I don't have the answers as to why or when; only my supreme saddness at a society sickened by sycophancy run rampant.





Integrity, it's not a river in Egypt.(tm)

Artificial Heart Limerick

There once was a story of a heart,
It was artificial and wouldn't fall apart,
Isn't it neat?
You'll have no heartbeat,
Yet life in you it will impart.

http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-02/no-pulse-how-doctors-reinvented-human-heart?page=all

[Very interesting read if you like technology and/or cardiac medicine!]

Blast the Past: Nintendo

In this new segment "Blast the Past" I will take a look back at the things I thought were cool when I was younger and give my updated "adult" perspective on them.
First up: This advertisement for the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)

I just can't believe this made it to publication. Did no one even look at this picture??

#1. Hey, no-soul, why are you looking at the side of the fracking TV? That's not where Mario is played.
#2. This poor bastard is probably doing the best acting job of them all. Glazed over eyes showing feigned interest in his children's activities whilst barely managing a smirk. Seems like how I remember my own father watching me play Nintendo as a child.
#3. Where in the bloody-nose-that-just-won't-stop are you looking at?? You are in a weird purple room with nothing in it but a stupid TV on a tiny table. Pay attention!! Also, what is with your smile? I went through and counted hands, no one there has a finger up your ass so tone it down about nine notches would ya?
#4. For some reason this smile just looks creepy to me. Almost sadistic.
#5. What the Jack Kevorkian is Mario doing? Don't do it man! You can jump over or even on the goombas, no need to jump back to the left, into the pit. To your death. Wait a second...
#6. Well we know it's not Ginger McGee here murdering Mario as he is actively pushing right on the d-pad. Wait, why are you pretending to play when it's not your turn? I guess at least you are pushing the proper button for jump...
#7. Hmm, you could potentially be pressing left on the d-pad, and you are also jumping like your step (or is it half?) brother... OK, we will throw you a bone and assume it is you murdering Mario as it helps explain #4.
#8. What the... why is the gun up here? There are only two plug-ins. You're just being stupid now.
#9. The fu... either the game isn't in or you own TWO Mario games. This family is getting on my nerves.
#10. THE POWER IS OFF?!? Does no one check thi... ARGFG!
#11. I've owned a multitude of NES's in my day and not a one has EVER been able to hide it's cables that well. You really expect me to believe that the power cord and that big ass stupid cable thing with the grey rectangle on it (not to mention the audio cables) is hidden neatly in that tiny space? Eat it Nintendo. You've lost me completely. You asshats have just dumped a bunch of crap on a desk, told four idiots to stand around it and snapped a picture. How lazy can you get??
#12. This doesn't pertain to the ridiculousness of the ad, but just kind of makes me laugh. Age 8. Isn't that cute? Kids are now born with an iPhone up their butt, but back in the day? Well this fancy shmancy stuff is probably best reserved for 8 and older.

Adam Savage + TED = Awesome

This short 8 minute video is a must watch.
It is brimming with awesomesauce so delectible, that its merest hint of a bug's whisper brings you to a whole new plateau of wonder and enchantment.

Alright, maybe I oversold it a bit, but if you don't watch it I feel compelled to threaten you with physical violence. For your own good.

Watch it.

Now!

Your "Rights"

I ranted for about an hour on this, but as it was almost entirely expletives, and it is something that I've wanted to write about for a while, I decided to delete it all and attempt to put forth my thoughts a little more... reasonably(?).
The extremists on the right are once again raising the ante in the game of "Which side can I hate more?"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/14/arizona-birth-control-bill-contraception-medical-reasons_n_1344557.html

To summarize the above link for those of you too lazy to read it yourselves, it basically says that the Arizona government will concede that yes, birth control has other uses, but if you want your employer to provide you with insurance that covers it, you must prove to your boss that you are using birth control for a medical reason other than responsible family planning.

So the Republicans, who I was under the impression were pro-small government, want to get all up in my bedroom. Their shining rationalization for such absurdity? Why the First Amendment of course.
It happens to say in relation to this topic:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"

The second part is the particular section they are lifting up as the bastion of their defense. They claim that forcing an employer, who provides insurance for their employees, to provide it in a secular fashion, would be breaking the free exercise clause of the First Amendment.

At this point I will avoid all other aspects of the conversation that do not directly relate to the above argument in regards to the First Amendment as I have touched on the other parts of it in multiple other posts regarding the issue which you can find in the archive section of this blog. (Over that way I do believe ---------->)
I will just walk down their path of rationalization in an attempt to discover how they are coming to the conclusions they are coming to.

They say that they can't have their money go towards something that is against their religion because...

I'm done.

That is as far as I can get before I stumble face first over the hurdle of common sense. My mind is simply unable to overcome it. When I see a logical fallacy so obvious, I lack the ability to trick myself to just glaze over it.

The very first fault in their logic is the thought that our government should give a flying fractal about their religion in the first place. If you have a problem with your religion, pray about it, go cry to your priest, or whatever your church does. Making a law is counter to what our government's job is. As a matter of fact, I believe if you read the first sentence of the First Amendment of which you hold so dear, it states something to that effect.

You wish to argue that this law wouldn't be respecting "a" religion, but all religious beliefs? Well then what happens when two religions are at odds over a particular belief? Which side does the law take? It seems to me that we've hit a paradox. Also who gets to decide what a religion is? Need I have followers to have my beliefs be considered a religion? How many must I have? Would not the government deciding these things once again be counter to the First Amendment?

Secondly, we as a civilized society already restrict the exercise of religion. If your religious belief requires you to break a law (such as animal sacrifice, illegal drug use, polygamy, etc...) it is already prohibited or strictly monitored. I don't hear you crying foul for any of these other religious beliefs.

Lastly, the blatant irony of course is that the government is not in fact hindering you from exercising your religion. All it is doing is what it is supposed to: providing equal opportunity. Nowhere is the government forcing an individual to take birth control against their religious belief. It is just forcing employers to allow their employees to make their own choice on the matter. If they make the choice, well then the employer must pay what the insurance company requires them to pay, the same as they do for any other drug.

Now, many right wing nutjobs will not see these truths as self evident and will in fact argue until the cows come home that we are stomping all over their "right" to force their religious beliefs on others.
There is only one good way to deal with people like that, and you need only to study American history to discover it works quite well.

I call your First Amendment with my First Amendment, and I raise you my Second Amendment.





[Full aside: I hate it when people string bet, but in cases like the above, it's not poker and it clarifies it better so I have granted myself a temporary waiver to do it.]

Celebrate Pi Day!

To celebrate Pi Day I encourage you to join a party.
What party you might ask? Well, the "I Know 3rd Grade Math" party.
It's fun! Not as fun as the "I Know 3rd Grade Grammar" party, but I'll invite you there later.
For now, I ask you to listen to this celebration of simple mathematics (or a commentary on the sad failings of the American educational system). It is roughly a half hour long and if you are like me, you will laugh out loud multiple times, but each time you will die just a little bit inside.
Afterwards you may ask "WTF does this have to do with pi?" To which I would reply "It's math fuckface, back off."

http://imgs.xkcd.com/verizon_billing.mp3


[Summary: It's 6 years old, so you may have heard it before. A man was quoted .002 cents per kB by Verizon and was charged .002 dollars per kB. He tries over and over again to try and teach multiple people at Verizon where they are screwing up and they fail over and over again to catch on. Yes, he does screw up his own math a few times but I will cut him some slack as it can be exceedingly frustrating trying to explain basic fundamentals to complete idiots.]

[Also, it is completely 100% work safe to listen to. It's not ME lighting up an idiot, it's a guy (with a remarkable amount of patience) talking to idiots whose job it is to be polite, so if you are at work, turn off your radio, fire this up and enjoy the ride and entertain your fellow workers too!]